Your name is Ann, and you've just returned from a super-secret mission.
(click-append: "Ann")[ (Ralph Ann Monday, to be exact)](click-append: "super-secret mission")[ (no, it really IS secret, promise)]
Your codename this mission was the ingenius "Anise", and it made you feel good, like you were a star-shaped seed pod that rattled when you walked. Management really didn't skimp on the travel accommodations this time. You would be back home in no less than 8 hours. Just enough time for a good night's sleep.
(click-append: "this time.")[ (It's already been leagues better than that time you strolled up the tarmac to find your scheduled plane, a twin-prop Piper aircraft of some designation, idling with the keys in the ignition.)](click-append: "sleep.")[ (To the annoyance of your coworkers, you had no problem conking out when given the chance.)]
You take the time to reflect on your work. (click-append:"You take the time to reflect on your work.")[ You've been out for a month and a half, all the way across the world in the dense urban thicket of Singapore. The assignment had you track an infamous street-magician monkey who had been using his funds to drill for oil underneath the city. Admittedly, his contraption of loose change wrangled into a spinning top of (-) drill bit was impressive, but (--) went directly against (---) standard code of Oil. Everything got (-----) more complicated (--------) tracked (--------). The monkey jumped ship (----) cargo freighter (-----------) Hong Kong. You followed, (---------------------) capture him (---------) dove under (---) island (------) evil lair. (--------) monkeys (----------------) breath underwater (----) long? (--------------) murky tube (--) fluorescent purple fluid (-------------------------------------------------) being strapped down (----) lab table (--------------------------) magician nowhere (--------). You escaped easily, (-----------------------------), (---) whisked up a scrumptious helping (--) nitroglycerin (---) kieselguhr. You exploded (---) lab, swam up (--) the surface, and enjoyed (-) taro bubble tea while waiting for your clothes to dry. Easy stuff.
How come you didn't explode yourself? How'd you make it up to the surface on your measly human lungs? Why did the freighter crew not notice a monkey and a giant of a man duking it out on the deck? The world (and you) may never know.
You settle in to sleep, but...
[[...something unfortunate happens.->Your plane is crashing]]
[[...something fortunate happens.->You get a text from the monkey]]]You take the time to reflect on your work. You've been out for a month and a half, all the way across the world in the dense urban thicket of Singapore. The assignment had you track an infamous street-magician monkey who had been using his funds to drill for oil underneath the city. Admittedly, his contraption of loose change wrangled into a spinning top of a drill bit was impressive, but it went directly against the standard code of Oil. Everything got a bit more complicated once you tracked him down. The monkey jumped ship to a cargo freighter heading for Hong Kong. You followed, and almost managed to capture him before he dove under the island to his evil lair. Who knew monkeys could hold their breath underwater THAT long? You remember a murky tube of fluorescent purple fluid and the uncomfortable (but not unusual) strain of being strapped down to a lab table...and then you woke to the magician nowhere in sight. You escaped easily, like you'd been trained to do, and whisked up a scrumptious helping of nitroglycerin and kieselguhr. You exploded the lab, swam up to the surface, and enjoyed a taro bubble tea while waiting for your clothes to dry. Easy stuff.Your plane is crashing. You can feel it. You've been on enough flights to know that the kind of turbulence you're experiencing is NOT normal. Oh god. You've never been religious and you won't start now, but Christ Almighty.
(click-append: "won't start now")[ (that feels like cheating, you know? You've never put in the work, why should you reap the benefit?)]
The flight attendant walks by. She's still carrying on with dinner service, but you know that she's feeling the same panic you are. She's stopped to ask you whether you want pasta fettuccini or a grilled cheese with eggs over-easy. You can't make that kind of decision! But oh, she's still looking at you, looking directly at you and you can read her brainwaves through her pupils.
(enchant:?flightattendant, (text-style:'italic'))
|flightattendant>["The plane is crashing tonight."]
|flightattendant>["We're all going to die in the ocean, except for a set of passengers in 38C and 38D who will die at the hospital after a few weeks of coma."]
|flightattendant>["Why aren't you making your arrangements?"]
|flightattendant>["Please just tell me which meal you want."]
|flightattendant>["Is this guy okay? Fuck, don't tell me we have another puker."]
|flightattendant>["Maybe if I look uncomfortable enough he'll get up and go to the bathroom or something. Come on, take the hint big guy."]
You take the hint.
(click-replace: "You take the hint.")[You take the hint, and break eye contact to scamper up the center aisle and into the bathroom.
In the bathroom, the noise from the engines is more pronounced. It's regular, regular like your heartbeat. You look in the mirror.
(if: $cha > 8)[[[You like what you see.->Sexy bod!]]]
[[You don't like what you see.->Why's the captain in here with you?]]]Your phone lights up with a text from an unknown number:
(enchant: ?monkey, (text-color: "green"))
{
(live: 0.5s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[HELLO ANISE]
]
}
{
(live: 2.0s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[HOW IS YOUR FLIGHT]
]
}
{ (live: 2.5s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[...]
]
}
{
(live: 3.5s)[
(stop:)
(replace:"...")[|monkey>[THIS IS THE MONKEY MAGICIAN]]
]
}
{
(live: 4.0s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[BTW]
]
}Whew, looking nice! The part of you that you can see in the miniscule mirror, anyway. You've got a set of strong shoulders(if: $str < 10)[ (not in the literal sense, of course)], a well-fitted cargo vest with gizmos and gadgets, and a sexy purple glow coming from-
Hm, you guess it's coming from that tracker implanted in your neck. That's new.
Take it out.
(if: $int > 14)[(click-replace: "Take it out.")[Woah there! That's not the best idea.]]
(if: $str > $int)[(click-replace: "Take it out.")[You tug it out with a "pop!"]]
(else:)[(click-replace: "Take it out.")[You give a small tug, but the thing is pretty well stuck.]]The round sheet is only big enough to fit one of your shoulders in, and-wait, why's the captain in here with you? If he's here, then...
"Who's flying the plane?" you manage, and do your best to turn around.
The captain smiles up at you. "It's on autopilot, silly. Now budge over a bit, I've got to piss."
You embrace the captain and rotate together like a revolving door so he's closer to the toilet. You avert your eyes politely(enchant: ?intro, (text-style:"italic"))
|intro>[Big swooping birds fly by...
...a child's hiccups are bottled and sold...
...a spider decides to retire to an awning to be closer to her grandchildren...
...and somewhere, you are boarding a plane.]
{(set: $int = 10)
(set: $cha = 10)
(set: $str = 10)
(set: $con = 10)
(set: $totalPoints = 0)}
Set your stats!
Points remaining: |pointsStat>[0]
Intelligence: |intStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $int to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?intStat)[|intStat>[$int]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $int > 0)[
(set: $int to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?intStat)[|intStat>[$int]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
Charisma: |chaStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $cha to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?chaStat)[|chaStat>[$cha]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $cha > 0)[
(set: $cha to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?chaStat)[|chaStat>[$cha]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
Strength: |strStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $str to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?strStat)[|strStat>[$str]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $str > 0)[
(set: $str to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?strStat)[|straStat>[$str]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
Fortitude: |conStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $con to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?conStat)[|conStat>[$con]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $con > 0)[
(set: $con to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?conStat)[|conStat>[$con]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
[[Begin!]]