Your name is Ann, and you've just returned from a super-secret mission.
(click-append: "Ann")[ (Ralph Ann Monday, to be exact)](click-append: "super-secret mission")[ (no, it really IS secret, promise)]
Your codename this mission was the ingenius "Anise", and it made you feel good, like you were a star-shaped seed pod that rattled when you walked. Management really didn't skimp on the travel accommodations this time. You would be back home in no less than 8 hours. Just enough time for a good night's sleep.
(click-append: "this time.")[ (It's already been leagues better than that time you strolled up the tarmac to find your scheduled plane, a twin-prop Piper aircraft of some designation, idling with the keys in the ignition.)](click-append: "sleep.")[ (To the annoyance of your coworkers, you had no problem conking out when given the chance.)]
You take the time to reflect on your work. (click-append:"You take the time to reflect on your work.")[ You've been out for a month and a half, all the way across the world in the dense urban thicket of Singapore. The assignment had you track an infamous street-magician monkey who had been using his funds to drill for oil underneath the city. Admittedly, his contraption of loose change wrangled into a spinning top of (-) drill bit was impressive, but (--) went directly against (---) standard code of Oil. Everything got (-----) more complicated (--------) tracked (--------). The monkey jumped ship (----) cargo freighter (-----------) Hong Kong. You followed, (---------------------) capture him (---------) dove under (---) island (------) evil lair. (--------) monkeys (----------------) breath underwater (----) long? (--------------) murky tube (--) fluorescent purple fluid (-------------------------------------------------) being strapped down (----) lab table (--------------------------) magician nowhere (--------). You escaped easily, (-----------------------------), (---) whisked up a scrumptious helping (--) nitroglycerin (---) kieselguhr. You exploded (---) lab, swam up (--) the surface, and enjoyed (-) taro bubble tea while waiting for your clothes to dry. Easy stuff.
How come you didn't explode yourself? How'd you make it up to the surface on your measly human lungs? How did the freighter crew not notice a monkey and a giant of a man duking it out on the deck? The world (and you) may never know.
You settle in to sleep, but...
[[...something unfortunate happens.->Your plane is crashing]]
[[...something fortunate happens.->You get a text from the monkey]]]You take the time to reflect on your work. You've been out for a month and a half, all the way across the world in the dense urban thicket of Singapore. The assignment had you track an infamous street-magician monkey who had been using his funds to drill for oil underneath the city. Admittedly, his contraption of loose change wrangled into a spinning top of a drill bit was impressive, but it went directly against the standard code of Oil. Everything got a bit more complicated once you tracked him down. The monkey jumped ship to a cargo freighter heading for Hong Kong. You followed, and almost managed to capture him before he dove under the island to his evil lair. Who knew monkeys could hold their breath underwater THAT long? You remember a murky tube of fluorescent purple fluid and the uncomfortable (but not unusual) strain of being strapped down to a lab table...and then you woke to the magician nowhere in sight. You escaped easily, like you'd been trained to do, and whisked up a scrumptious helping of nitroglycerin and kieselguhr. You exploded the lab, swam up to the surface, and enjoyed a taro bubble tea while waiting for your clothes to dry. Easy stuff.
monkey planted geocache in ralph's neck to hide it from the people coming after him for it. the monkey is against the Orangunization (which ralph is commissioned by), who are trying to find all the geocaches. the monkey knows ralph is fairly incompetent and goes off-course often, so he plants the gc in the hopes that ralph will accidentally take it somewhere other than to his home base (why? fix motivation, sounds too unlikely). ralph is part of gov't org that deals with busting crime or smth, the orangunization is a top-secret offshoot of that org. the people coming after ralph now to get the gc are former coworkers of his who he thought went MIA. maybe monkey doesnt know ralph is part of the org? he just knows the other two are coming after him and ralph can slip away unnoticed. (the other two are currently rogue ? they saw a new gc signal pop up and are pursuing it w/o having gotten it cleared w their bosses)
carmen sandiego / 39 clues / lara croft / indiana jones / as above so below vibesYour plane is crashing. You can feel it. You've been on enough flights to know that the kind of turbulence you're experiencing is NOT normal. Oh god. You've never been religious and you won't start now, but Christ Almighty.
(click-append: "won't start now")[ (that feels like cheating, you know? You've never put in the work, why should you reap the benefit?)]
The flight attendant walks by. She's still carrying on with dinner service, but you know that she's feeling the same panic you are. She's stopped to ask you whether you want pasta fettuccini or a grilled cheese with eggs over-easy. You can't make that kind of decision! But oh, she's still looking at you, looking directly at you and you can read her brainwaves through her pupils.
(enchant:?flightattendant, (text-style:'italic'))
|flightattendant>["The plane is crashing tonight."]
|flightattendant>["We're all going to die in the ocean, except for a set of passengers in 38C and 38D who will die at the hospital after a few weeks of coma."]
|flightattendant>["Why aren't you making your arrangements?"]
|flightattendant>["Please just tell me which meal you want."]
|flightattendant>["Is this guy okay? Fuck, don't tell me we have another puker."]
|flightattendant>["Maybe if I look uncomfortable enough he'll get up and go to the bathroom or something. Come on, take the hint big guy."]
You take the hint.
(click-replace: "You take the hint.")[You take the hint, and break eye contact to scamper up the center aisle and into the bathroom.
In the bathroom, the noise from the engines is more pronounced. It's regular, regular like your heartbeat. You look in the mirror.
(if: $cha > 8)[[[You like what you see.->Sexy bod!]]]
[[You don't like what you see.->Why's the captain in here with you?]]]Your phone lights up with a text from an unknown number:
(enchant: ?monkey, (text-color: "green"))
{
(live: 0.5s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[HELLO ANISE]
]
}
{
(live: 2.0s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[HOW IS YOUR FLIGHT]
]
}
{ (live: 2.5s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[...]
]
}
{
(live: 3.5s)[
(stop:)
(replace:"...")[|monkey>[THIS IS THE MONKEY MAGICIAN]]
]
}
{
(live: 4.0s)[
(stop:)
|monkey>[BTW]
]
}Whew, looking nice! The part of you that you can see in the miniscule mirror, anyway. You've got a set of strong shoulders(if: $str < 10)[ (not in the literal sense, of course)], a well-fitted cargo vest with gizmos and gadgets, and a sexy purple glow coming from-
Hm, you guess it's coming from that tracker implanted in the back of your neck. That's new.
Take it out.
(if: $int > 14)[(click-replace: "Take it out.")[Woah there! That's not the best idea.]]
(if: $str > $int)[(click-replace: "Take it out.")[You grab onto a bulbous part of the tracker and tug it out with a "pop!". The part that came loose seems to have fit inside the rest of the piece, which is still solidly embedded.]]
(else:)[(click-replace: "Take it out.")[You give a small tug, but the thing is pretty well stuck. It also hurts an absurd amount. You drop to your elbows on the sink and clench your teeth as the pain ricochets through your body.]]The round sheet is only big enough to fit one of your shoulders in, and behind it you see-wait, why's the captain in here with you? If he's here, then...
"Who's flying the plane?" you manage, and do your best to turn around.
The captain smiles up at you. "It's on autopilot, silly. Now budge over a bit, I've got to piss."
You embrace the captain and rotate together like a revolving door so he's closer to the toilet. You avert your eyes politely.
Make awkward conversation.
(click-replace: "Make awkward conversation.")["So, pretty nice weather we're having."
"Sure. Wind 115 degrees at 4 knots, 5 miles visibility, few clouds at 3000 feet and broken at 5200 feet, temperature 21 degrees, dew point 14.8 degrees," he replies. "Say, while we're here, do you happen to know a..."
He rummages around in his pockets and finds an old receipt with neat handwritten notes on the back.
"A passenger by the name of Ralph Tuesday? Also goes by Ann?"
Well, that's almost you.
(set: $varRand to (random: 8,14))
(if: $cha > $varRand)[[[React coolly->Cool guy]]]
[[React uncoolly->Uncool guy]]](enchant: ?intro, (text-style:"italic"))
|intro>[Giant swooping birds fly by...
...a child's hiccups are bottled and sold...
...a spider decides to retire to an awning to be closer to her grandchildren...
...and somewhere, you are boarding a plane.]
{[(set: $int = 10)
(set: $cha = 10)
(set: $str = 10)
(set: $con = 10)
(set: $totalPoints = 0)]}
Set your stats!
Points remaining: |pointsStat>[0]
Intelligence: |intStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $int to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?intStat)[|intStat>[$int]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $int > 0)[
(set: $int to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?intStat)[|intStat>[$int]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
Charisma: |chaStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $cha to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?chaStat)[|chaStat>[$cha]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $cha > 0)[
(set: $cha to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?chaStat)[|chaStat>[$cha]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
Strength: |strStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $str to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?strStat)[|strStat>[$str]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $str > 0)[
(set: $str to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?strStat)[|straStat>[$str]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
Fortitude: |conStat>[10] {
(link-repeat: "|+|")[
(if: $totalPoints > 0)[
(set: $con to it + 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it - 1)
(replace: ?conStat)[|conStat>[$con]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
(link-repeat: "|-|")[
(if: $con > 0)[
(set: $con to it - 1)
(set: $totalPoints to it + 1)
(replace: ?conStat)[|conStat>[$con]]
(replace: ?pointsStat)[|pointsStat>[$totalPoints]]
]
]
}
[[Begin!]](set: $cha to it + 1)
"A Mr. Tuesday? No, I can't say I've heard of him. Why?"
"He's just got something of mine." He thinks for a moment, before searching for something else in his pockets.
"Tell me, son, have you heard of the great sport of Geocaching?"
You haven't.
"I haven't."
"Well, you look like you'd be a good fit for it. Here, think about it," he presses a worn trifold pamphlet into your hands and zips himself up. "No pressure, we could just use more people like you: big and burly and not-all-there. Henchpeople, you know?"
He runs some water over his hands and shakes them out. The two of you rotate again so he can open the door. He glances back at you.
"Let me know. I'll be going through the seats for this Tuesday person."
He's gone.
You look at the pamphlet.
(click-append: "You look at the pamphlet.")[ It's printed on light green cardstock. The cover flap shows a stylized crosshairs logo over clipart of a flag.
You open it to see a bulleted list titled "Benefits", a pixelated image of a couple smiling and holding up a small box, and a second list titled "Job Description". The benefits include fairly regular stuff: a dental plan, paid holidays, free meals, child care, etc.
The job description list seems a little more suspect. Statements such as "Steal legendary treasures" and "Avoid enemy agents" and "Track down rogue players" catch your eye.
The back of the pamphlet is blank save for a telephone number and a fax address.
(if: $int > 12)[[[You put it all together->Understand]]]
[[You have no clue what's going on->Confused]]](set: $cha to it - 1)
"Actually, it's Monday," you correct.
"Hm?" He throws a look over his shoulder. "Today's Friday."
"No-I, my name isn't Tuesday. It's Monday."
He digests this and then fishes out a pen to cross something out on the receipt.
"In that case..." He zips himself up, washes his hands, shakes them dry, and tackles you against the wall. He scours you for something before zeroing in on something on the back of your neck. He grabs hold of whatever it is and pulls hard.
(click-append: "pulls hard.")[
Lightning shoots down your spine and your vision blacks out before returning in patches. You hear a rushing in your skull--waves, maybe?--and vaguely recognize that you've become slumped over.
The captain steps back and wrings out his hands. "It sure is stuck in there. Why on earth would you do this to yourself?" he wonders. He squeezes his hands into fists twice and shakes them out twice before returning to the object.
On this pull, you feel something unravel. The fibers of this object tear away from your cervical vertibrae and you lose feeling from the shoulders down. The captain lets up momentarily to roll your head to the side and look into your eyes. You can barely see him.
"Say hi to great-aunt Bertha, will you? And cousin Reynaud as well, if he managed to make it to hell."
He smiles grimly and yanks the geocache once more.
DEATH END!
[[Try again?->Set stats]]]You think you understand, at least enough to know that you're in danger. If this captain thinks you have something of his, maybe he thinks you're one of these "enemy agents" or "rogue players". But does that mean you have some kind of "legendary treasure" as well?
You scratch your head.
(click-replace: "You scratch your head.")[You scratch your head, but it doesn't help. Try something else?]
(click-append: "else?")[
You scratch the back of your neck, but it doesn--
There's something there, on the back of your neck. It's circular and extruded, somewhat like a miniature doorknob. The skin surrounding it is puckered and rough. As you feel around more, you learn that this item seems to be two parts. The inner one, the one with the round doorknob part, gives a little when you fiddle with it. The outer part is a slim round ring that you can tell extends deeper, possibly even to your spine. You tap it lightly and feel the vibrations on your vertebrae. That'll be fun to remove.
You focus instead on the doorknob. It gives enough for a half-turn to the left and a quarter-turn to the right. When you push it further to the right it clicks twice and the knob resets to its original vertical position. Pushing it to the left further causes a whirring sound before the knob slowly rotates back to vertical. You take it that you can remove this thing, if you get the combination right.
[[Turn knob to the left->Lefty]]
[[Turn knob to the right->Righty]]]Double-click this passage to edit it.You gently rotate the knob left and feel a series of soft clicks. A set of two clicks, then a single click, then a set of three. Hmmm, this probably means something.
(set: $varRando to (random: 6,12))
(if: $int < $varRando)[(click-append: "something.")[..but you aren't smart enough to figure it out. You'll leave it be for now, and focus on the more pressing matters at hand. You've got to fly (ha!) under the captain's radar. Of course, the best way is by...
[[...hiding in the cockpit!->Hijacker]]
[[...keeping your enemies closer!->Helpful guy]]]]
(if: $int >= $varRando)[(click-append: "something.")[ Of course! You turn to the single click, then to the two clicks, then to the three clicks. A trill sounds and you feel the inside piece pop loose]]You crank the knob to the right. It clicks twice and you hit a point where you can't move it any more. You try anyway.
Twenty minutes later, the flight attendant unlocks the bathroom door to check on the passenger who never exited. She finds you sprawled on the floor, head resting on the toilet seat. The back of your neck is a mess of wires and springs, like a grandfather clock had exploded. You're loosely gripping a small metal knob attached to a transparent tube. There is a triumphant grin on your face.
The attendant huffs, plucks the tube from your hand, and goes to get a body bag.
DEATH END!
[[Try again?->Set stats]]Yeah! You're flying the plane now!
You exit the bathroom and make your way to the cockpit. Lucky for you, there's nobody guarding the door. You press your ear to the door for a moment, listening out for the copilot. You don't hear much but engine.
With that, you pull the door open and slip inside. It's easy to open, exactly how cockpit doors should NOT be by this point in time. You note the anachronism, lampshade it, and continue on.
Inside, you see a grim scene. The copilot is lying across the floor and wrapped head-to-toe in packing tape. You nudge him with your foot, but he doesn't respond. You hear a whimper to your left. In the corner behind the pilot's seat sits a naked man, also bound in packing tape. He has bitten the tape around his mouth away enough to speak.
"He's taken over the plane--the, the person dressed as me." The man is hoarse and frantic, "Are you here to help us? Please help us."
[[You're here to help.->Help them]]
[[You're not here to help.->Ignore them]]You leave the bathroom and walk the length of the plane, searching for the captain. You find him near the back, questioning passengers and checking names off of a list.
"Captain?", you interrupt. "Actually, I don't think I ever got your name-- I'm here to help you find Tuesday."
(click-append: "I'm here to help you find Tuesday.")[
The captain spins around and gives you a wide grin. "Alright! Always good to have help. And my name is, uh-" he runs down the list of passengers "-Captain...Susanna Fields, but you can call me Suzy."
He checks off the passengers in the seat he's at and motions for you to follow him to the next row. The two of you question the passengers about Tuesday and, learning nothing new, move on. A few rows later, you cross paths with the flight attendant. She reaches under her cart to retrieve a covered dish that she hands to the captain.
The captain nods once at her and pulls you past to a set of empty seats. You sit and pull out the seat tray for him to place the dish on. He peeks under the cover and gingerly pulls something out. It's a wrapped chocolate candy. He unwraps it to reveal a marble where the candy should have been. He seems unimpressed, and passes the marble off to you. The captain smooths the wrapper out on the tray and reads the message inside.
"'Have checked rows one through five, nothing yet', drat," he frowns and counts up his passenger list. "We've got rows eighteen to twenty-three done."
You glance at the list and see your name assigned to seat 7B. With any luck, the captain wouldn't realize you were his missing passenger.
You realize something. "Hey Suzy? Are you and the flight attendant working together on this?"
"Oh-aye we are. Miss G and I actually work for the same agency," he says.
So there's a whole agency set out to find this puzzle in your neck, then. Comforting. Your employers need to know about this.
"Suzy, why is this passenger so important to you?"
(click-append: "Suzy, why is this passenger so important to you?")[
He glances up. "I told you already, he has something belonging to the agency." He thinks for a moment before adding: "It's mentioned in your pamphlet. Those geocaches? This guy has one of them with him."
"And why is it so valuable?"
His eyes gleam and he leans in.
"If we get enough of them, we think they'll lead to a..." he checks that the other passengers aren't listening "...a treasure. Or, so I've been told."
"But there are others after this?"
"Oh, always. It's a whole arms race these days. Half of the funding they say goes to the military actually goes to us, did you know that?"
"Do you think they would, uh, get rid of someone who stood in their way?"
He gives you a blank look.
"Do they kill people," you clarify.
His mouth turns down. "Best not to talk about them like that, son."
You notice he hasn't answered your question, and you wait.
"Yes. Now help me find this guy, we're losing daylight."
[[The two of you keep searching.->Keep looking]]]]Double-click this passage to edit it.You pretend you didn't hear the man and wander over to the captain's seat instead. He cries out in despair. You put the headset on. The radio is silent, so you fiddle with the frequencies until you hear chatter.
"Delta 3966, descend and maintain 30 thousand."
"Descending to 30 thou., DL 3966."
"Southwest 205, descend to 10 thousand. Contact tower on 119.5, have a good day."
"Southwest 205, descending to 10 thousand, have a good day."
"United 1398, hold west on Victor 310."
There are a few minutes of silence, before the same voice repeats:
"United 1398...hold west on Victor 310."
You figure now is as good a time as any, and engage the radio.
"United 1398, holding west on Victor 310," you recite. The pilot isn't freaking out behind you (more than usual), so you figure you got it right.
Now to land this thing.
[[Look for runway Victor 310->Crash landing]]
(if: $int > 12)[[Remember your flying lessons->Safe Landing]]You make it through the rest of the seats without finding Tuesday, although one passenger does share a wonderful story about her son-in-law who ran away with a woman named Ruby. You don't really get the connection.
By the time you've made it to 7B, you've managed to take over clipboard duties. Suzy has you read out the names of each passenger, and you claim 7B as an unoccupied seat. He believes this, and you continue on.
By the time you're done, an impressive seven hours have gone by and the captain needs to return to land the plane. You wish each other tearful good-byes and you escape to an unoccupied seat that's not 7B. The attendant looks at you suspiciously, and you aren't able to grab your belongings as you exit the plane, but you're safe.
The flight attendant catches you as you're leaving the jet bridge. She presses a small disc into your palm and gives you a stern nod. You weakly nod back and scurry off.
You only have time to examine the disc when you've made it to the motel and crashed on the bed. It's a compact mirror, slightly oval-shaped and stainless steel. You press the clasp.
It pops open to reveal a digital map on the top face and a small joystick and buttons on the bottom face. There are small green dots all over the map. Hovering over one reveals a code, or name of some sort. You zoom in to your location and see one of these dots is centered on you. You can't make sense of the name, but you can pull up a log of this item.
"Cache last found on 20XX/XX/06 by CyberMonkey29
Cache last logged as DNF on 20XX/XX/13 by DisguisedDuo"
YOU WON!
[[Play again?->Set stats]]You spot an empty runway and push the plane into a dive. A couple of warning bells go off, but you don't pay them any mind.
Behind you, the captain struggles against the tape and begs you to free him. You concentrate on finding the switch for the landing gear.
Aha, there it is! You lower the landing gear and keep heading toward the runway. When you're less than a thousand feet off it, you see something off to the right. It's heading toward your plane fast.
You only have a couple moments to register that yes, that is another plane speeding at you, before the two planes collide over the airport. The crash claimes the lives of everyone aboard both planes and twelve people on the ground.
The NTSB opens an investigation and quickly determine that an unlicensed and untrained man was flying the plane. Safety regulations are put in place. The doors to the cockpit are made inaccessible to passengers.
Four years later, the crash is featured on a season finale of Air Disasters.
DEATH END!
[[Try again?->Set stats]]It's almost automatic: You stay in your holding pattern on Victor 310 until the controller passes you off to the tower and you are given a runway to land on. You touch down beautifully.
After a short announcement to the passengers, you contact ground control and taxi to a nearby ramp. Safely on the ground, you make sure you're at the front of the line leaving. Damn, you're good.
You were able to grab your bags out of the overhead bin, and you didn't check any luggage, so you're good to go. You call your boss, get set up in a motel for the next few weeks, and borrow a phonebook from the receptionist. There's a couple of auto shops nearby, and you schedule some time to break in at night. If you can find a tool to get this thing out of your neck, you're golden.
With everything planned out and no upcoming assignment, you let yourself crash on the bed.
YOU WON!
[[Play again?->Set stats]]
↶↷
Giant swooping birds fly by...
...a child's hiccups are bottled and sold...
...a spider decides to retire to an awning to be closer to her grandchildren...
...and somewhere, you are boarding a plane.
Set your stats!
Points remaining: 0
Intelligence: 10 |+| |-|
Charisma: 10 |+| |-|
Strength: 10 |+| |-|
Fortitude: 10 |+| |-|
Begin!